Saturday, 13 January
Vigil of Sunday
4:30 p.m. - LENA TRANQUILLO PICCIONI
by Charles A. Rinaldo Sr. and by Charles and Mary Rinaldo and family

Sunday, 14 January
2nd Sunday in Ordinary Time
7:45 a.m. - ROBERT GORMAN
by Harry and Rosa Lilley
10:45 a.m. - STEPHEN CHALINSKY by his family

Monday, 15 January
Weekday
12:05 p.m. - PEDRO MERCADO MILANES
by John J. Krizno

Tuesday, 16 January
Weekday
12:05 p.m. - FRANCIS A. KALYAN
by Larry and Rosemarie Dahm
7:00 p.m. - GABRIEL DiLAZZARO
by Harry and Rosa Lilley

Wednesday, 17 January
St. Anthony, abbot (OblMem)
12:05 p.m. - OLGA SINKOVICH SEADOR
by Johanne Luppino Fabiani

Thursday, 18 January
Weekday
12:05 p.m. - RACHEL ANN SNINSKI
by her family
7:30 p.m. - ELVIRA ALFONSI HESS
by Harry and Rosa Lilley

Friday, 19 January
Weekday
12:05 p.m. - ALFRED TONOLO
by Jerome and Marie Gilmartin

Saturday, 20 January
St. Fabian, pope, martyr; St. Sebastian, martyr (OptMems)
8:00 a.m. - Health and God's Blessings on OLYMPIA PICCIONI SPLEEN
by the St. Joseph Parish Women's Guild
Vigil of Sunday
4:30 p.m. - H. ROBERT PICCIONI Sr. (3rd anniversary)
by his wife, Ann, and family

Sunday, 21 January
3rd Sunday in Ordinary Time
7:45 a.m. - DECEASED: CHALINSKY and CIORLANTI FAMILIES
by the families
10:45 a.m. - SANDRA CHAPLICK TRABOSH (6th anniversary)
by her husband, Gene, and family

Saint Joseph Parish
$1,594.00 from the envelopes and $184.00 from the plate. Thank you.
When one deducts from the sum of these two figures, $1,778.00 the parish's weekly financial obligation to the Diocese, i.e. assessments, $358.85 plus the weekly premiums for property and liability insurance, $149.20, the sum of which is $508.05, plus its weekly obligation to All Saints School, $987.21, the sum total of which is $1,495.26, one sees that $282.74 of this collection is available for operating the parish.

Saint Francis deSales Parish
$97.00 from the envelopes and $96.05 from the plate. Thank you.
When one deducts from the sum of these two figures, $193.05 the parish's weekly financial obligation to the Diocese, i.e. assessments, $55.15 plus the weekly premiums for property and liability insurance, $56.72, the sum of which is $111.87, plus its weekly obligation to All Saints School, $197.44, the sum total of which is $309.31, one sees that ($116.26) of this collection is available for operating the parish. This is a deficit!

FATHER CONNOLLY'S
RULES FOR MARRIED MEN
WHO WOULD RATHER BE HAPPY THAN MISERABLE

Note: I have shared these rules on a private basis with more than one married man. I have gotten sufficient positive feedback about them that now I would like to go public with them. If you think that these rules are meant "just for fun", you are, obviously, a boy of little brain, but we hope you will grow wise as you grow old.

#1 - Whenever there is a dispute or a difference of opinion between a husband and a wife, the wife is right and the husband - needless to say - is wrong.
#2 - Whenever the husband, foolish person that, alas, he often is, allows a dispute or difference of opinion to surface, he must apologize.
#3 - After apologizing, he must apologize again.
#4 - After apologizing, he must do penance.
#5 - After doing penance, he must apologize once more.
#6 - An obedient husband is a happy husband.
#7 - When the husband is happy, the wife is happy and, if there are children, the children are happy.
#8 - For the most part, God wants people to be happy - except for those married men who are too dumb to learn from their mistakes. God wants them to suffer, really suffer, but only until they get smart, at which point He wants them to be happy.

Married men of StJosPar and StFdSPar: Please memorize these rules! There will be a pop quiz.

On the next three pages of this bulletin, you will find two prayers:

On pages 7 and 8
RENUNCIATION OF SATAN and CLAIMING THE FULL VICTORY (one prayer).

On page 9
A PRAYER BEFORE LOGGING ONTO THE INTERNET.

I strongly encourage everyone - most especially men and boys - to become familiar with these prayers.
Temptations to impurity are super-abundant in our society.
No man or boy between the ages of 12 and 92 can possibly remain pure without the grace of God.
God gives His grace to all who come to Him in prayer.
Let us ask Him to make us pure.
No man or boy is powerless in the face of temptations to pornography or self-abuse.
God will help us if we ask Him.

JOHNNIE HAYES YANNI,
a member of St. Joseph Parish, died on Wednesday, 3 January.
Born on 6 June 1922, she was 84 years old.
Johnnie is one of four children born to Leonard and Anne (Tatum) Hayes.
Her three siblings are deceased: Ruby Hayes Eller; Faye Hayes Roberts; Herschel Hayes.
Johnnie is the wife of Michael Yanni. The two of them were married in St. Joseph Church.
On 21 July 1961, Johnnie became a Catholic. She was baptized in St. Joseph Church by Father Lyons.
She is the mother of two sons: Michael J. Yanni and Robert J. Yanni Sr.
She has five grandchildren: Michael F. Yanni; Janelle M. Yanni; Dominic J. Yanni; Kimberly A. Yanni; Robert J. Yanni Jr.
The funeral services were private. The interment took place in the Indiantown Gap National Cemetery, Annville PA, on Monday, 8 January.
A Memorial Mass will be held at the convenience of the family.

Beste God, waar is de sneeuw?

Cher Dieu, où est la neige?

Lieber Gott, wo ist der Schnee?

Caro Dio, dove è la neve?

Caro Deus, onde é a neve?

¿Dios querido, donde es la nieve?

Care Deus, ubi est nix?

SOMEONE SENT ME THIS. IT SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD. ANYONE WANT TO CHECK IT OUT? [EBC]

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.
As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises." She replied, "Yes, that's true." I said, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home."
So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week)
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia? Name where you want to go! Princess will have a ship ready to go. Try that in a nursing home!
PS - And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.