Saint Joseph Parish: $1,629.00 from the Sunday envelopes; $87.00 from the second collection (plate); $52.00 from the Dues envelopes; $102.00 from the loose. Thank you.

Saint Vincent DePaul Parish: $791.00 from the Sunday envelopes; $112.50 from the second collection (plate); $5.00 from the Campaign for Human Development envelopes; $18.00 from the Building Maintenance envelopes; $10.00 from the Fuel envelopes; $83.65 from the loose. Thank you.

WE SHARE THE MAIL

The following anonymous email was sent to the pastor and received by him on Saturday, 29 November, at 10:39 pm. The sender identifies herself as “Joy Happy”. If that pseudonym sounds familiar, it is because this is the second email received from a person using that pseudonym (and included in the bulletin). I am printing it here without editing of any sort. There is no salutation, but it is clear that it is addressed to me. It might seem peculiar that I would choose to print such letters in the parish bulletin. If someone were to ask me why, I would answer as follows: (a) because they are interesting; (b) because they have some entertainment value; (c) because they provide some insight into the human psyche; (d) because they might prompt someone to say a prayer for their parish priest, who is called upon to love some mighty peculiar people.

Disgusting that you would even write such a thing...blasphemist and hypocrite. You will be asked to explain to the "higher authority."
“Bully for him! If that young man is so deliriously happy to be enrolled at Bloomsburg, maybe I should consider sending my kid to Bloomsburg!” (You can't have children as a Catholic servant of God and any consideration of thereso should be directed to your Archbishop at once so he may reconsider thy vows made to your Lord God.)
The clear message is that if you are a young man (or a young woman, I guess)
(just another example of thy sexism)
and you are finding that your current venue is not conducive to your being YOU, then you really ought to consider enrolling in Bloomsburg U, because Bloomsburg U is a great place to be YOU!
Well, isn’t that special! (arrogance and passive agressiveness!)
Of course, that advertising pitch makes me slightly suspicious. You see, it all has to do with who YOU is. [Or should I say who YOU are? No, I think I want to say “who YOU is!] (an English class is needed,"Father.")
If YOU is (great example by "Father" Connolly) like most 17 and 18 and 19 year old human males with whom I am acquainted, (please stop frequenting Burger King, "Father") then YOU is very much in need of some major overhauling. Not just a tweak here and a tweak there, but take it down to the basement, put a tarp on the floor, take it all apart, spread it out, hose it down and re-assemble it, replacing what needs to be replaced.
(I will pray for you that the Lord has mercy on you that you accept women as equals to men, that those tattooed are equal to those not tattooed, that those with pierced tongues are equal to those with non-pierced tongues, and that those that are not of the same gender (or sex, if you understand the difference) and nationality of you are accepted as equal. May God love you as he does all of His children. You are continually in my prayers.
Have a Blessed Christmas,"Father."
Joy (who may or may not be a "she")

PARENTHETICAL NOTE: We do not encourage --- in fact we strongly discourage --- the sending of anonymous letters of any sort to anyone. With limited exceptions, there can be no moral justification for sending anonymous letters. I am quite certain that the sending of abusive anonymous letters is sinful. In many cases, persons who write anonymous abusive letters are mentally ill. If this be the case, then the moral responsibility, hence the sinfulness, is probably diminished.

WE SHARE THE MAIL (Continued)

The following email was sent to the pastor and received by him on Tuesday, 2 December. The writer, Marie, and her husband are friends of mine. They are anticipating the birth of their fourth child (fourth son), whom they have already named John.

Dear Father Connolly:
Want to give you an update on things down here in (name of town). Yesterday I went to the doctor for check up. Dilated to 3cm, so it's just time. The doctor was trying to get me to go along with being induced. Told him that wasn't an option because the due date isn't until 12/8. He looked at me like I was crazy for refusing. This delivery is up to God and John (Mother Nature too). When the time is right, he will be here. The doctor did say if he isn't here by 12/8 we should seriously consider induction. I just love modern medicine-it is just for convenience for the doctor, so they know what their schedules are like.

Dear Marie:
Yes, I’m glad that you’re giving John all the time he needs in utero.
I think it’s ridiculous to push a kid out of the womb before his time — UNLESS there is some serious reason.
Why are so many people in such a hurry? It’s crazy.
It’s like the way some Catholics approach going to Mass: They look for bargain basement Masses. Short sermons. Eucharistic Prayer #2. Multiple ministers of Communion, so as to process the line as quickly as possible. Forget the meditation after Communion. Are we finished yet?
Maybe these are the Catholics who were pushed out of the womb before their time.
Tell John I said that he should come out when he’s good and ready.
Of course, that’s easy for me to say!
God bless John and you!
EBC
**********************************************************************
PS: I’m happy to report that John came out on his own steam on Thursday, 4 Dec. Welcome to the outside world, John! Way to go, Marie! Keep your day job, Dad!

The following email was sent to the pastor and received by him on Monday, 1 December.

Fr. Connolly
Please excuse the intrusion. I found your email address on http://stjospar.org. Last year I prayed to St. Joseph for blessings and the blessings have been received. In exchange for the blessings, I promised St. Joseph that I would donate $1,000.00 annually at Christmas time to churches or charities that bear his name. On December 19, I will be sending $1,000.00 to St. Joseph of Girardville in memory of former parishioner, my mother-in-law, the late Alice Selgrade of Girardville, PA.
Please provide me with the address where I should send this donation. In the eighties and nineties when I visited Mrs. Selgrade, who lived on Main St in Girardville, I recall that St Joe’s was on Main Street but I don’t have the exact address.
In addition, as you may be aware, IRS requires a letter of receipt acknowledging contributions in amounts above $250.00. I will enclose a stamped self addressed envelope with the donation so that you (or whoever does the books) might return a receipt to me.
Praise be to St. Joseph and our Almighty God.
Joe Haardt
McLean, VA

Dear Mr. Haardt:
What a pleasant surprise to open your email!
Believe me when I tell you that St. Joseph Parish in Girardville would be most grateful for your gift.
In any given month, our expenses (which include diocesan assessment and parochial school subsidy) can be counted on to exceed our income. I know the meaning of “deficit spending”.
With your permission, I shall make note of your contribution in our parish bulletin, together with the name of your good mother-in-law, Alice Selgrade. May she be numbered among God’s holy ones.
Yes, I shall type out a receipt for your donation for you to show to the lads at the IRS.
May God reward you for your kindness and may the great patriarch, St. Joseph, be your friend and protector.
Sincerely,
Fr. Edward B. Connolly
Our mailing address is as follows: 260 N. 2nd Street, Girardville PA 17935-1338

You will notice that, in the back of St. Joseph Church and also in the back of St. Vincent dePaul Church, there are trees — we call them “giving trees” — set up as reminders and as invitations for you to give a gift to a baby. Please think of this as a “baby shower”. You know, without my telling you, what sorts of gifts are appropriate for a baby shower.
Whatever is given will be donated to a Catholic agency that provides services to pregnant women who are in poor circumstances.
The Lord Jesus identifies Himself with the poorest of the poor, especially those who are poor in social prestige. We look at infants at this time of year and we see the Infant Jesus in each one of them.

Leave your gifts at the base of the trees. Please be generous.

The public is cordially invited to gather with us and celebrate the hopes and joys of this holy and beautiful Christmas season, as our Grades Pre-K through 8 students display their wonderful talents for all of our families and friends. There is no admission charge, but a free will offering will be accepted at the door in support of Trinity Academy. May the Peace of the Infant Lord Jesus be with us all!

HAZEL IRENE FAUST,
a member of St. Joseph Parish, died on Thursday, 5 December. Born on 6 February 1927, she was 81 years old.
Hazel is one of the two children of the late Earl and Genevieve (Dernosky) Faust.
She was a life-long member of the parish.
Hazel is survived by her sister, Helen Faust McDonnell.
There will be a Mass of Christian Burial in St. Joseph Chapel at 10:00 am on Monday, 8 December, which is the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception.
There will be a viewing in the chapel for about one hour prior to the Mass.
The interment will take place in the parish cemetery in Fountain Springs.
Eternal rest grant unto Hazel, O Lord, and let the perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Please note: Someone might wonder whether attendance at the funeral Mass suffices to satisfy one’s obligation to attend Mass on the Holyday. The answer is “Yes”.

THERE’S A MORAL HERE SOMEWHERE
John was given a parrot as an early Christmas gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently speaking only the politest of words, by playing soft music and by doing anything else he could think of to prompt the bird to clean up his vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up. He spoke sharply to the parrot. The parrot yelled back.
Then John shook the parrot. The parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and shoved him into the freezer — not to hurt him, but just to scare him a bit, to teach him a lesson.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and cursed and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for more than a minute.
Fearing that he had gone overboard and hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
With dignity and calm, the chilly parrot walked calmly out of the freezer into John's outstretched arms and said:

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had prompted this dramatic change of heart, the bird cocked his head and said:
"May I be so bold as to inquire what exactly it was that the turkey did to offend you?”

In last weekend’s bulletin, I said that the ROAST BEEF DINNER was scheduled for “Sunday, 13 December”.
Someone pointed out to me that I should have typed “SATURDAY, 13 DECEMBER”.
And, of course, that’s what I should have done.
Sorry for any confusion I might have caused!

ROAST BEEF DINNER IS NEXT SATURDAY, THE 13TH OF DECEMBER, FROM 4:00 TO 7:00 PM, IN THE SAINT JOSEPH (IHES) SCHOOL BUILDING. TICKETS ARE $7.00. YOU CAN PURCHASE A TICKET AFTER THE WEEKEND MASSES OR ELSE CALL 276-6289. DEADLINE FOR PURCHASING A TICKET IS 8 DECEMBER.