Saturday, 23 February
Vigil of Sunday
4:30 p.m. - CHRISTOPHER M. WALTERS
by Mom, Dad, Kaitlyn, Dan and Amelia

Sunday, 24 February
3rd Sunday of Lent
7:45 a.m. - JOYCE CHRISTINE CHIPLONIA
by her cousin, Carol Kramer
10:45 a.m. - JOANNE PALKO BACH
by Kevin F. Pinto

Monday, 25 February
Lenten Weekday
12:05 p.m. - Health and Blessings
on Rev. EDWARD B. CONNOLLY
(body, mind, heart and soul)
by Sandra Frinzi

Tuesday, 26 February
Lenten Weekday
12:05 p.m. - HENRY and STELLA SGRO
by their son
7:00 p.m. - CHRISTOPHER M. WALTERS
by Mom, Dad, Kaitlyn, Dan and Amelia

Wednesday, 27 February
Lenten Weekday
12:05 p.m. - JOSEPH A. PALKO and JOANNE PALKO BACH
by their wife/ mother, Carmella

Thursday, 28 February
Lenten Weekday
12:05 p.m. - ALBERT SIMONE
(month's mind)
by Phyllis C. Kevy and Fannie Kevy
7:00 p.m. - JOSEPH A. FABIANI
by Joseph and Mary Luppino

Friday, 29 February
Lenten Weekday
12:05 p.m. - SHIRLEY M. HORVATH
by Schuylkill County Adult Probation Office Staff

Saturday, 01 March
Lenten Weekday
8:00 a.m. - INTENTIONS OF THIRD ORDER CARMELITES
by TOC Community
Vigil of Sunday
4:30 p.m. - NED G. LANG
(24th anniversary)
by his mother and family

Sunday, 02 March
4th Sunday of Lent
7:45 a.m. - SANTANNA ALFONSI GORMAN
by Harry and Rosa Lilley
10:45 a.m. - VERONICA SINKOVICH CLEMAS
by her nephew, Harry Seador, and family

Saint Joseph Parish
$1,414.00 from the envelopes and $160.00 from the plate. Thank you.
When one deducts from the sum of these two figures, $1,574.00 the parish's weekly financial obligation to the Diocese, i.e. assessments, $410.08 plus the weekly premiums for property and liability insurance, $160.01, the sum of which is $570.09, plus its weekly obligation to All Saints School, $941.06 the sum total of which is $1,511.15, one sees that $62.85 of this collection is available for operating the parish.

Saint Francis deSales Parish
$243.00 from the envelopes and $60.70 from the plate. Thank you.
When one deducts from the sum of these two figures, $303.70 the parish's weekly financial obligation to the Diocese, i.e. assessments, $46.15 plus the weekly premiums for property and liability insurance, $60.67, the sum of which is $106.82, plus its weekly obligation to All Saints School, $188.21, the sum total of which is $295.03, one sees that $8.67 of this collection is available for operating the parish.

INTERESTING CONVERSATIONS
I would like to report on two conversations I had this past week with two members of St. Joseph Parish: Marissa and Joseph. Both conversations have a "moral of the story". That's why I'm putting them in the bulletin. As far as I know, neither Marissa nor Joseph reads the bulletin. So, they won't be aware that I am going public with these conversations. But I think they wouldn't mind even if they were aware.

Conversation #1: Marissa
Background information: Marissa is five years old, going on six. She was visiting in the Rectory while her mother was doing some work here. While she was here, the Official Parish Cat (Kateri) allegedly scratched her. Notice I say "allegedly" because: (a) I did not witness the scratching; (b) I have to be careful with my words, lest I find that they come back to haunt me in a court of law. For all I know, I could be sued for "pain and suffering" inflicted by my cat! I mean allegedly inflicted, of course.
Marissa: Father Connolly, look at my arm! Kateri scratched me! (She shows me her arm. A fresh scratch mark is, indeed, visible.)
EBC: Oh my goodness, Marissa! I am so sorry! Oh, I bet that hurts! But I don't understand it! Kateri never scratches me and she never scratches other people! Why did she scratch you!
Marissa: I pulled her tail!!
EBC: Well, there you have it, Marissa! That explains it! You mustn't pull a cat's tail! Cats don't like that!

Moral of the story #1: What goes around comes around!
Moral of the story #2: What an honest child! No guile, no deceit! Thank Heaven for little girls!

Conversation #2: Joseph
Background information: Joseph is three years old, going on four. He often comes to visit me in the sacristy after weekday Mass. (He is a very devout lad.) I make a little fuss over him and, if I am not in a hurry, he will sometimes sit on my lap, which makes conversation more comfortable, as in this particular conversation. Joseph: Father Connolly, do you have a bed?
EBC: Yes, Joseph. I have a bed.
Joseph: Father Connolly, do you have any kids?
EBC: No, Joseph, I don't have any kids.
Joseph: Father Connolly, do you have a mother?
EBC: Well, Joseph, yes and no. I did have a mother. She was a wonderful mother. She loved me a lot and I loved her. But she died and went to Heaven.
Joseph: (all of a sudden, looking as sad as I have ever seen a kid his age look) Why did she die?
EBC: (trying my best to look as casual and as matter-of-fact as possible, so as not to feed into his sadness) Well, Joseph, my mother got old and kind of sick and then she just died. Everybody has to die sometime.
Joseph: (resolutely) I'm not going to die!
EBC: Well, Joseph, I'm sure you're not going to die for a long time. But, you know, even you will have to die sometime. But it won't be until you get old, and that's a long time from now. So, don't worry about it. All you have to do is love Jesus and be good and, when you die, you'll go to Heaven.
Joseph: (he smiles / his face is back to normal happy / the conversation is over / I have the distinct impression that the Holy Spirit is at work deep inside him)

Moral of the story #1: It is good to tell children the truth about the deep things of life. Tell them forthrightly but gently and always with reference to God.
Moral of the story #2: The adults who do the telling had better have their own heads screwed on right!
Moral of the story #3: The primeval fear in the human heart is the Fear of Death. It shows itself in the very young and in the very old and in all who are in between. Carl Jung called it Todesangst --- anxiety about death. He said that Todesangst is the underlying cause of all psychoses and neuroses. I think Carl was onto something! The Scriptures say that it is by means of the Fear of Death that Satan has held the human race in bondage. The Son of God destroyed the power of Death over us. For this reason, we love Jesus, worship Jesus, exalt Jesus and are unendingly grateful to Jesus. For this reason, we eat and drink His Resurrected Body and Blood.

HOME-MADE EASTER CANDY
Butter cream, coconut cream or peanut butter.
$8.00 per box
Call St. Patrick Rectory (622-1802) weekdays between 9:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m.
Deadline for orders is 10 March.
You can pick up your candy at St. Patrick Parish Center, 313 Mahantongo Street, on Saturday, 15 March, between 12:00 and 5:30 p.m. or on Sunday, 16 March, between 8:00 a.m. and 12:30 p.m.

Free testing service: You should always be cautious about what you put into your mouth. You don't want to get sick from food that is not properly prepared. There is lots of stuff going around, you know!
For this reason, we offer a free service. Whatever Easter candy you purchase from St. Patrick's, purchase a duplicate order and drop it off at St. Joseph Rectory for testing purposes. One of our staff will consume what you give us and will let you know whether we think it is safe for you to consume what you have purchased. This is a free service. You need not be a member of St. Joseph Parish or St. Francis deSales Parish in order to tap into it.

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway!

This inspirational poem is widely available, but I thought it would do no harm if I were to put it into our bulletin - just in case someone has never read it (or would like to read it again!) It was written in 1968 by Kent M. Keith.
It is sometimes - incorrectly - attributed to Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. Mother Teresa did not write it. However, it is my understanding that she did admire it, and had copies of it posted in some of her convents.

If you can't see my mirrors, it's no reflection on you.
My wife keeps complaining that I never listen to her - or something like that.
Watch out for the idiot behind me!
Your really stupid!
So you're a feminist! Well, isn't that cute?
Some days it's just not worth gnawing through the leather straps!
I'm not crazy. It's just that I've been in a very bad mood for the past thirty years.
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up!
Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
That's not a haircut. It's a cry for help.
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send me ten dollars.
To err is human. To blame it on someone else shows management potential.
Liberal Arts major: Will think for food.
Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
Double your drive space! Delete Windows!
Dyslexics of the World: UNTIE!
When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
In case of rapture, may I have your car?"
I have read about the evils of drinking beer and have decided to give up reading.
I thought I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
To err is human. To moo bovine!
So many stupid people! So few asteroids!
I have a degree in Liberal Arts. Do you want fries with that?
Who are these children, and why do they keep calling me Mom?
Gravity: It's not just a good idea. It's the law!
Don't make me mad! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Shopped.
My cat hissed at your honor student.
In case of rapture, my views on eschatology will shift.
Vote Democrat! It's easier than working!
Honk if you've never seen a gun fired from a moving vehicle.
Honk if you ignore bumper stickers.
Si hoc advixum in obice legere potes, liberaliter educatus es, sed nimis propinquus ades.
Latin for: If you can read this bumper sticker, you're very well educated but much too close.

Come join us on Saturday, 8 March, from 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 noon for Open House and Registration at All Saints!
Faculty members will be available to answer questions you might have.
Please remember to bring your child's birth certificate, baptism certificate and immunization records.
Register before 1 April and receive a $15.00 discount on the new student registration fee!
We hope you can join us!

Some friends of mine gave me a GPS for Christmas. Very nice! I like it and have found it quite useful.
If one does not follow the directions exactly (and who does?) a voice comes on and says "RE-CALCULATING!".
The gal whose voice is the default voice on the GPS is an American. I must admit that I found her kind of hard to take. Every time she said "RE-CALCULATING", it sounded as though she was very upset at me and was implying that I was kind of stupid. She really hurt my feelings!
So, I found out that I could easily change the voice. Now I have an Australian gal. She is quite an improvement. Whenever she says, "RE-CALCULATING", she does so without that sharp and critical "edge" in her voice. She is entirely objective and doesn't give me the impression that I have offended her in any way.
Moral of the story: It's not what you say. It's how you say it!