Saint Joseph Parish: $1,431.00 from the Sunday envelopes; $131.00 from the second collection (plate); $33.00 from the Dues envelopes; $479.25 from the Ascension Thursday envelopes; $269.50 from the loose. Thank you.

Saint Vincent DePaul Parish: $1,069.00 from the Sunday envelopes; $142.00 from the second collection (plate); $553.00 from the Ascension Thursday envelopes; $112.00 from the loose. Thank you.

Mass for the Unborn
The Frackville Knights of Columbus, Rev. James A. Hogan Council 2580, will sponsor the annual Mass for the Unborn on the lawn of St. Joseph Church, Frack and Nice Streets, Frackville, at 11:00 am on Sunday, 07 June. Those planning to attend are encouraged to bring their lawn chairs.

A Second Opinion: An exclusive interview with
KIP YUR (“SONNY”) SYDUP, MD, PhD, DVM, EdD, LLD, DDS
World’s wealthiest, most popular and least reliable physician
EBC: Doctor Sydup, thank you for allowing us to interview you for our parish bulletin. Let me get right to the questions. I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong one’s life. Is this true?
KYS: Not true! Human heart good for only so many beats, and that's it! Not good to waste them on exercise. Time go by, everything wear out. Speeding up heart not make you live longer. That like saying you make car last longer by driving car faster. Not so! Want to live longer? Take nap!
EBC: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
KYS: No! Very foolish! Must grasp logistical efficiencies. You see cows? What cows eat? Cows eat hay and corn. What are hay and corn? Vegetables! So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism for deliver vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken! Chickens eat grain all time! Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And porkchop give you 100% required daily intake of vegetables.
EBC: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
KYS: No, not at all! Wine made from fruit. Fruit good! Brandy? She is distilled wine. That mean they take water out of fruity wine, so you get even more goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. That why Doctor Sonny Sydup say, “Bottoms up!”
EBC: Is it a good idea to exercise? I was always taught, “No pain, no gain!”
KYS: Exercise? Good idea? Sorry! No! Very bad idea! Doctor Sonny Sydup philosophy: No pain, no pain! Remember: Pain, very bad! No pain, very good!
EBC: Sometimes I like to eat chocolate, but I feel guilty. Is chocolate bad for me?
KYS: Chocolate bad? You crazy man or something? HELLO! Doctor Sydup calling you crazy man! Cocoa beans! What you think? Is vegetable! Is best thing on earth for you! Taste good. Make you healthy! Make you feel good! Never can eat too much chocolate!
EBC: What about swimming? Would swimming be good for my figure?
KYS: You ever take good look at whale? Whale swim twenty-four / seven! What kind of figure whale have? EBC: But I thought getting in shape was important for my longevity!
KYS: Maybe so! But remember: many different shapes. One shape is “round”! “Round” is very nice shape! Well, time up! Doctor Sonny Sydup have to go now. Hope I clear up any misconceptions you have about food and diet. And always remember: All human being die sooner or later. You don’t want to arrive at cemetery with healthy, good-looking body. Try to arrive at cemetery all worn out and used up, with beefsteak in one hand and chocolate bar in other. Now Doctor Sonny give few parting words to people in Girardville who insist on watch what they eat:

#1 — Japanese eat very little fat. Have fewer heart attacks than Americans.
#2 — Mexicans eat lots of fat. Have fewer heart attacks than Americans.
#3 — Chinese drink very little red wine. Have fewer heart attacks than Americans.
#4 — Italians drink lots of red wine. Have fewer heart attacks than Americans.
#5 — Germans drink lots of beer, eat lots of sausages and fats. Have fewer heart attacks than Americans.

So, Doctor Sydup say: Eat and drink whatever you like. What make you die young is speaking English.
EBC: Thank you so much, Doctor!
KYS: No problem!
(For those among us who are stressed out, I should point out that this particular bulletin article is not to be taken seriously. It is intended to promote laughter. Laughter is good. In fact, it is very good. In fact, one of the main things we will do in heaven is laugh. Get ready for it.)

Q: Who is the Bishop of Allentown at the present time?
A: Nobody! Nobody is the Bishop of Allentown at the present time! The Diocese is “sede vacante”, which means “the seat (see) is empty”.

Explanation: From 27 May to 30 July 2009, the post of Bishop of Allentown is vacant. Bishop Cullen officially retired as Bishop of Allentown on 27 May. He is now the Bishop Emeritus of Allentown.
Bishop Cullen’s retirement was consequent on two factors: (a) He had submitted his retirement to Pope Benedict XVI on 15 March 2008, which was the Bishop’s 75th birthday. Canon Law requires bishops to submit their resignations to the Pope when they reach age 75. The Pope is not, however, required to accept the resignation immediately. He can sit on it for a while and he usually does.
The resignation becomes official when the Pope appoints a successor. (b) The Pope appointed Msgr. John O. Barres to the office of Bishop of Allentown on 27 May. Immediately, and as a consequence, Bishop Cullen’s resignation kicked in.

Q: Well, then, why did not Msgr. Barres become immediately the Bishop of Allentown?
A: Because he is not yet a bishop. He cannot be “the Bishop of Allentown” unless and until he is, first of all, a bishop! In addition to this, even if he were already a bishop, he would need some time to wrap up some loose ends back home in Wilmington before coming on board in Allentown. He will be ORDAINED and INSTALLED on 30 July, at which point he will be a bishop and, simultaneously, Bishop of Allentown.
Q: Well, who is in charge of things until the new man takes over? Is there anyone watching the store?
A: Yes. We now have an administrator watching the store. The administrator was elected by the Board of Consultors (a group of priests) on Thursday, 28 May.
Q: Whom did they elect? Who is the administrator?
A: They elected Bishop Cullen. He is the administrator.
Q: Did they HAVE to elect him? Could they have elected somebody else?
A: No, they did not HAVE to elect him, but they figured he was qualified, available and unemployed; plus he works cheap. It makes sense.
Q: So, are you telling me that Bishop Cullen is still running the show but that there is no Bishop of Allentown?
A: That’s exactly what I’m telling you.
Q: I don’t get it! It seems like a distinction without a difference!
A: Not really! Bishop Cullen’s authority is limited now, as he himself conceded. There are things he cannot do now that he is no longer “the Bishop of Allentown”. One of the things he cannot do is continue with the consolidation of parishes. That will be on the new bishop’s plate when he is installed. Another thing Bishop Cullen cannot do is assign or re-assign pastors. That also has to wait for the new bishop.
Q: What effect do you think this will have on north Schuylkill County parishes? Girardville in particular?
A: If I answered that question, I’d just be blowing smoke. I have no idea.

WE SHARE THE MAIL
Background: Alissa is the woman at St. Joseph University who is in charge of liturgy. She sent me this email on 12 May because she knew that I would be the celebrant of a Mass at SJU on 14 May for the graduates of the Class of 1959 (of which I am a member).

From:       Alissa M. Yatcko
To:           ebconnolly@verizon.net
Sent:         Tuesday, May 12, 2009 4:00 PM
Subject:    Communion distribution

Dear Fr. Connolly -
I wanted to make you aware. We will not be distributing under both species at ANY liturgy during the month of May. We expect people from all over the country (and the world) at Commencement activities and we feel that it is in the best interest of all those present to be proactive about the spread of H1N1 (swine flu) or any other virus. The cup will be reserved for the celebrant and concelebrants. The Host will be distributed by the celebrant, concelebrants, deacons and Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion.
Also - we will have a LARGE bottle of hand sanitizer. I will inform the EMs that they can sanitize both before and after distribution. (The same will happen at Baccalaureate).
See you on Thursday!
Alissa

My reason for sharing this particular piece of mail: It provides me with an excuse for talking about the custom we have at StJosPar and StVdPPar, viz. the custom of giving Holy Communion by intinction, i.e. by dipping the Sacred Host into the Precious Blood. I do this as an alternative to giving the two species separately. Some persons might wonder about my rationale for this.
First of all, it should be known that: (a) it is entirely legitimate to distribute Holy Communion under the form of the Bread only; (b) it is entirely legitimate to distribute Holy Communion under both species; (c) when distributing Holy Communion under both species, it is entirely legitimate to distribute It via intinction; (d) when distributing Holy Communion under both species, it is entirely legitimate to distribute It under the separate species, i.e. first under the form of the Bread and then by offering the chalice to the communicant.
In choosing whether to distribute the one Form only or both Forms, it has always seemed to me that giving Communion under both Forms is preferable, for the simple reason that both signs (bread and wine) are better than one sign. In other words, res ipsa loquitur (the matter speaks for itself). In saying this, I do not in any way, shape or form imply that the Lord Jesus is any more present under both species than He is under the one species. It is simply that one’s perception or apprehension of the Lord’s presence is intensified when one receives Him under both species as opposed to one species.
In choosing whether to give both species via intinction or separately, this is my thought: There is something undeniably authentic about drinking (actually drinking) from the chalice, nevertheless there is an undeniable hygienic problem with offering the chalice to everyone. It is my experience that a substantial number of people in any congregation will refrain from drinking from the chalice because they have reservations about sharing the same cup with twenty or fifty or a hundred other persons, especially if they are not acquainted with them (or maybe because they are acquainted with them!) We cannot simply say, “Those who are turned off at the thought of drinking from the same cup as others are unduly finicky!” I don’t think they are unduly finicky. At worst they are duly finicky and, at best, they are more sensible than those of us who might have no qualms about drinking from the same cup as others.
For centuries, our brothers and sisters in the Eastern rites of the Catholic Church and in the Orthodox Church have been receiving Holy Communion by intinction. I have often thought that they have the right idea. One of the “best kept secrets” in the Latin Rite (the rite of which to which we belong) is that intinction is something that we are allowed to do. So, I do it. I think it is the perfect solution to making the two species available to everyone without endangering anyone’s health or sensitivities.
By the way, the late Bishop Thomas J. Welsh was an advocate of intinction (as opposed to separate species). I know because he told me so personally.

“AFTER ORIGINAL SIN, CONTRARY FORCES ARE AT WORK IN MAN AND WOMAN as a result of the threefold concupiscence, the ‘stimulus of sin’. They act from deep within the human being. Thus Jesus will say in the Sermon on the Mount: ‘Everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.’ (Mt 5:28). These words, addressed directly to man, show the fundamental truth of his responsibility vis-a-vis woman: her dignity, her motherhood, her vocation. But indirectly these words concern the woman. Christ did everything possible to ensure that - in the context of the customs and social relationships of that time - women would find in his teaching and actions their own subjectivity and dignity. On the basis of the eternal ‘unity of the two’, this dignity directly depends on woman herself, as a subject responsible for herself, and at the same time it is ‘given as a task’ to man. Christ logically appeals to man’s responsibility. In the present meditation on women’s dignity and vocation, it is necessary that we refer to the context which we find in the Gospel. The dignity and the vocation of women - as well as those of men - find their eternal source in the heart of God. And in the temporal conditions of human existence, they are closely connected with the ‘unity of the two’. Consequently each man must look within himself to see whether she who was entrusted to him as a sister in humanity, as a spouse, has not become in his heart an object of adultery; to see whether she who, in different ways, is the co-subject of his existence in the world, has not become for him an ‘object’: an object of pleasure, of exploitation.”

Mulierem Dignitatis
Pope John Paul II

WHENEVER YOU ARE OBLIGED TO DRIVE BY OR TO WALK BY the indecent statue that stands in front of the Discount Appliance and Furniture Store on Girardville’s Main Street, I suggest that you call to mind these words of our late Holy Father, John Paul II, about the dignity of women.
Anyone who is in the state of sanctifying grace and who is not blinded by unchastity HAS to be well aware that this statue is (to use the mildest term possible) entirely inappropriate, except perhaps in the foyer of a whorehouse.
I ask the owners once again: Please remove the statue from the sidewalk. If you insist on selling such items, please sell them from inside your store.
I felt immense sadness a few days ago when I came over to St. Joseph Chapel to expose the Blessed Sacrament and I saw a group of pre-adolescent boys playing on the corner of Main and Richard.
It made me think about what Jesus had to say about millstones.
As pastor of a substantial number of the Christian community in Girardville, I call to repentance the persons who are responsible for the continuation of this attack on the innocence of our children and the dignity of our women.