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I’M MY
OWN GRANDPA!
Oh, many, many years ago,
when I was twenty-three,
I was married to a widow,
who was pretty as can be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter,
who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
and soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law,
and changed my very life,
for my daughter was my mother,
'cause she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matter,
though it really brought me joy,
I soon became the father
of a bouncing baby boy.
This little baby then became
a brother-in-law to Dad,
and so became my uncle,
though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
then that also made him brother
of the widow's grown-up daughter,
who, of course, is my step-mother.
Chorus
I'm my own grandpa!
I'm my own grandpa!
It sounds funny, I know,
but it really is so.
Oh, I'm my own grandpa!
My father's wife then had a son
who kept them on the run,
and he became my grandchild,
for he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother,
and it makes me blue,
because, although she is my wife,
she's my grandmother too.
Now if my wife is my grandmother,
then I'm her grandchild,
and every time I think of it,
it nearly drives me wild,
for now I have become
the strangest case you ever saw:
As husband of my grandma,
I am my own grandpa!
[Chorus]
This song was written in 1947. A few
days ago, while in my car, I heard it on the radio. It really
brought me back. I remembered — a long time ago, when I
was about nine years old — how my parents and my aunt and
uncle and (I think) even my grandmother were laughing at this
song we had all heard on the radio. The more things change, the
more they stay the same! God bless all people who give us things
that make us laugh! The best thing in life is laughter. Heaven
is going to be so much fun — not a day without a full quota
of laughter. That’s one of the main reasons I want to live
there forever. I think that the worst thing about Hell is that
nobody there ever laughs. That alone scares the devil out of
me! The prospect of eternal fire is motivational, no question
about it! But the prospect of existing for all eternity without
ever laughing is what closes the deal for me.
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Saturday, 15
August
